On Toxicity, Expectations, and Gatekeeping: A Diatribe
Does a player who is afk during an encounter deserve the credit/loot?
What about one who spent the entire time auto attacking?
Or one that contributed 1/10th the damage everyone else did individually?
1/2?
At what point should a player be cut from a group for significantly underperforming? Where do we draw the line on the ratio of contribution to reward? Is it better to kick them? Or to try and teach them to play the game? Perhaps it'd be best to say nothing, and carry them through anyway?
Above everything else, players value their time. It's significantly rage-inducing to have 30-40+ minutes of your time wasted when it's not even your fault, when you have a single (or perhaps multiple) player(s) not only refusing to contribute, but actively being a detriment to the group as a whole. In Classic World of Warcraft, this problem often had to be solved by teaching the other player how to play at a decent enough level, since replacing them was time consuming and difficult. In current WoW, it's solved by booting them and relisting your group in the groupfinder. There will always be players who underperform, and there will always be groups with high expectations. The difference is figuring out which solution is more time efficient for the groupleader.
I understand the need to counter toxicity, everyone should feel welcome to play the game. But at what point does "fighting toxicity" turn into "brazen entitlement"? I've seen groups where people have been kicked unjustly, only underperforming by a small margin. But on the flip side, I've also seen plenty of groups that have tried to address underperformance, only to be met with cries of "toxicity" and "gatekeeping" from the offending player. It's not toxic to have high expectations for high level content. In fact, I would say that if you're unwilling to put in the time to learn the game at the same level as the group you're joining, why should you be allowed in? Why should your laziness grant you a spot in the group out of fear of being banned for "toxicity", a never-ending and ever-changing nebulous concept? Is it toxic to have high expectations? To some players, yes. Is it gatekeeping to kick a player for underperformance? Maybe, it's hard to say. Maybe they made one mistake and were booted. Maybe the group dragged them through 10+ wipes before deciding enough is enough. I've been through enough groups to be a part of both circumstances.
Expecting players to play at a certain level never was, should never have been considered, and will never be toxic. I myself have had to remove players who were significantly underperforming, at the level where they were in the bottom 10 percentile of players of their same class on that difficulty and boss. (Gray parsing) There are tough conversations that sometimes need to be had, and reluctant as I am to do so, sometimes these players have to be removed for the good of the group. I've been met with angry PMs of "toxic", "elitist", "gatekeeper", and I've been met with understanding PMs. It feels awful to be removed from a group based on your performance, I'll agree. However, oftentimes this pushes people to try harder, do more research, and practice their class more. If the game has certain rules around "making a player feel bad" for their damage (looking at you FF14), then this practice leads to players finding themselves in situations/groups where they're not only unprepared, but actively bringing down the group as a whole. Objective ways of measuring performance solve more toxicity than they create. In a way, it sorts people into categories that will match their own style of play, rather than jumbling the high-level, high-expectation players together with the players who are more laid back and relaxed in their method of play. These two groups will always have friction, and keeping them separate (I feel) is better for the health of the community.
There will always be groups that expect a lot of the people who join them, and there will always be groups that are more casual and forgiving. I just have a more old school point of view that you should find groups that suit your style of play, instead of demanding an unrealistic expectation that all groups should be welcoming to all players for all content.
