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Check out Alpha Two Announcements here to see the latest news on Alpha Two.
Check out general Announcements here to see the latest news on Ashes of Creation & Intrepid Studios.
To get the quickest updates regarding Alpha Two, connect your Discord and Intrepid accounts here.
[Forum Game] 3 Word Story
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[BRIEF INTERLUDE]
We take you now to our main feature (with random punctuation added, and I may have accidentally missed off or double pasted sections)... previously on forum....
[spoiler]The Purple Horse smuggled some pickles across the sea to the emperor, ChiBree was a sorry lad speaking Tamil language with a huge old, rusty pineapple that was very lonely.
Suddenly the tree attacked her with it’s diaper to buy makeup for his mule called Billy.
He wasn’t prepared for the picnic Sarumonin cooked with his best buddy Steve, who is also the puppet master of hairy muffins and yellow flowers that smell like hot outhouse floors, but not really steam pressed with juicy extra virgin gnome.
They eat bonbons and wax their that glitters like horseradish with tuna in the sunset in noisy bliss
(Steve loved the moist and pungent stench of keyboards), but suddenly Lexmax pressed the wrong kickstarter pledge and everything broke as his left toenail, Blizzard in friends, wiped the raid with a trout smothered in mayonaise; and Rumbleforges beard and tuna horseradish cooking over green eggs and ham (and it smelled fresher than shoes.)
Them fresh Jordans worn by Channele my ex girlfriend.. but I digress.
Ponies smell great, when Ke$ha abstains, my heart blames hell’s hottest flames are very hot.
“They look flamey” laughed my grandma Nagash until hse saw bananas incoming. J
“I should duck” was but an afterthought, before a kitten clawed at Saru.
“It really hurts” Saru whispered softly in mystical ecstasy, but he prevails in Lexmax’s ear.
Then he realised, his heart fluttered with rainbow candycanes in untidy rows.
“what a beautiful Fooshy for his hand you have crochet napkin collection this would make” Yaviely said, breathlessly.
Then God shouted: “Stop sending spam, poison. “
This is not the end because Karthos had a date with wooden magic stick called ‘Yellow staff’.
How unkind dear did this happen?
“We don’t know” cried the bear with three small dancing armored dinosaurs.
Bowls of porridge rained from heaven beneath the dancing stars, luminating o’er tugowar’s brave yet ruggedly handsome jaw (of his father, who cheated on the great king)
“I am Groot!” Said the bear, who screamed on… “No soap, radio!”
Princess Chanelle blushed at the mention of his declaration as the new contender stepped up to face Zhambles. “I call ‘Bullshit!”….
But suddenly, Zhambles said, “I am the strongest bear! Ever there was left arm slipped.”; But that wasn’t the reason for his declaration of the pregnancy, because nobody expects the armored dancing dinosaurs who always come uninvited to her, or him?
It wasn’t long before Ms. Saggy Naggy went to bed and ‘deleted’ Lexmax
Alone for once time experience because the Spanish Inquisition took their bedroom and purged it, and he didn’t manage to escape the clutches of the laughing god who couldn’t handle the bushy eyebrow.
[Advertising interlude]
Smelled something over fingernails before tea? Or slippery nipples? (not the drink, no the jugs also known as twin peak Cassie the hashslinger slasher of bingham streeet.)?
[We return you now to our main feature]
Toenails with blood who eats lots of pickled dark elves that scream when the sun shines right up their snotty cold noses.
In the street a shadowy figure contemplated his existence while rolling under arm deoderant all over his butt.
Rumbleforge laughed loudly “ “
He dropped his croissant on the shadowy unclad figure by the fire causing Cylverrayne to rethink things slightly to save her from falling off a blue giant copy of Nagash.
His rectum itched for heroic battle that was between the last located dirty snow man and Diura’s sidekick (danced off into the sunset. )
When it began from her own war sharpened instincts and love for Lexmax’s awesome sandals, which was his mother’s wedding gift feast on the super velcro flaps fro the sandal of true justice.
Between groovy sandwiches without butter, the meade tasted like Baileys and Lime tossed by the handsome bard Kratz while he was ‘playing’ his instrument upside down.
Then ever so daintily went to bed.
Lexmax sadly waved, lept out from Lexmax’s mispelled name that went unnoticed, [and] burst into flames (However they were covered in custard pie).
Because it felt left out, so I stabbed a breastfeeding mom in the butt.
She enjoyed it with a nipple.
Now the time Babe drew boobs with a crayon, Karthos twerked to sesame street.
He ground on Suffleupagus 37 times until big bird called.
Unfortunately he’d forgotten inn a tavern Killing a dragon with a mighty powerful horse mask, double his bet ends the story.
The next day the dward said “Oh not again. In the swamp I want to change my words, hating the way the cookies crumble on Lexmax’s dreams. “
He always managed, it’s just unfortunate, but we laugh the night away;
“ha ha ha, ho ho ho, tee hee hee, lol rofl kek”;
Tosses the cookies and laughs again while he takes a dookie in a unicorns mouth (with pointed teeth and rancid breath).
“That poor unicorn broke his horn when he flew into a rage because he saw lots of skittles”
He greeted Morriganna with fig bars shaped as turtles with gooey caramel made by dwarves.
One day they deep in the OOO SO SWEET – took a seat upon a log with tooth picks and screamed;
“ooooouuuuuuuucccccchhhhh” while still licking, then ran off to watch anime, but fell asleep and dreamt of three little piggies WITHOUT HOMES but with marshmallows stuck on stick made from sharpened chu chu trains ridden by Ashlar of clan chu chu, led by Umji to fight me.
Just ate some with toasted toadstools and crunchy munchkins, but that was only the beginning!
On a dead eerie winter’s night voldemort killed harry
“ “ Megs cried out in stunned silence “bring him back! You pig nosed ugly thin mouth son of Nagash!”
“Arise undead Harry” he whispered to the gypsy moth. “Did you see what I did?”
She batter her winter is coming my cat for-told of this.
Does it make my pants go to my knees? And I drop then to ankles when Meg sings a sweet melody to my child’s pet puppy peter (she likes puppies) but I digress.
Dead Harry arose from Nagash’s crypt to lead a small pig army inside the closet where the wolves ruled the world.
The pig army recited epic poetry which consisted of ears and elbows, licked green apples and joyous jellybeans.
Then the dwarf won’t help with sentence structure. So Welphgryn, the beautiful man decided to help.
He grabbed a pencil with his left hand and flipped his back hair as one could see the story progressing intoo adult rated battlegrounds.
Days later TO UNDERREALM NODE where feral creatures nibbled at corpses yet never flossed or used soap.
In the moonlight, sweat glistening like Embers in Ash to beg and summon some cleanser so that they could smell pretty… like skunk spray.
Cheated pencil upwards into the night, but on Sunday they danced as if they had no tomorrow.
When the poet spake with forked tongue about the meaning of life itself everyone was deaf (as well as dead)
(Combo breaker initiated!!!!)
“Murder!” he cried “why would you!”
Yet they danced around a stick while yelling loudly “WHO’S YOUR DADDY?!?”
That still is the day that went down in the history books as the greates , craziest, most horrific, most absolutely terrific , colourful dance party ever to be in the entire giant fuzzy world of fancy partridges.
Welphgryn is the most austondly awesome fanciest partridge idiot I have ever had pleasure… oh look, a hot pink unicorn cake! Lets eat Om nom nom.
What’s in a name Welphgryn blatantly cheats said noone ever.
Sheriff Megs arrested for stealing my groovy green glasses from my satchel.
Flying butt monkeys! Off with them, into the night where evil bunnies fornicate ferocously before viciously engaging in magnificent yet unusual dispalys of items.
Items consisted of fantastically profitable options for deprived dwarves (diabolical and cuddly innocent parkour practitioners) hellbent on destruction of the land in c minor on a large elephant made of….
“but no treble” chanted Moriganna from… but thats okay. Because it is so very insightful and quite delightful, just like the…
“Welphgryn ruined it.”
“Look, it’s Krojak!”
Wait wha aat? I am confused. Confusion can lead to great insight which allows us to continue great feats such as dry flower arranging and wet vegetable, cooking stone soup with great skill then serving it with sauteed snails and fried eyeballs.
Under-realm citizens love disgusting spoiled food and urinated drinks, tired from playing games in the dark recesses of hot volcanic ash made from hair of the unicorn and strands of overcooked noodles.
Suddenly the lights flicker ominously as the still erect statue comes to life with the ability to peel bananas, and appeal the great white buffalo.
The statue struggles
[/spoiler]