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While we wait....[quotes for lolz]

ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
in Ashes Of Creation General Discussion
So while we wait I would like to hear your all time favorite quotes that made you 'lol'

mine is :

--  "In the middle of mystical ecstasy, God shouts: "Who's your Daddy?!" --


Comments

  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest

    I always remember a toast I heard at a wedding once "May your genitalia never fail you, or jail you". Needless to say it was unexpected and I lol'ed hard. I really don't think the mother of the bride was impressed but hey ho! :)

  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    Mal: "I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."

    Or, any number of other wonderful quotes from Firefly.

    Wash: "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

    Zoe: "Sir, I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off."



    Mal: "Well look at this. 'Pears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?"

    Zoe: "Big damn heroes, sir."

    Mal: "Ain't we just."


  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    I have a best man speech that I heard at a wedding once. He started his speech with, "I've never given a best man speech before, so I asked grandpa for advice. Grandpa told me, 'your speech should be the same length of time, that the groom will make love to his bride.' With that, I hope everyone has a great evening. Good night." 

    Then he walked off the stage and everyone erupted in laughter. He came back up afterwards to finish the speech though, but still, I thought it was hilarious.
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    Guild leader: "You know what really upsets me about pants?"

    Guildies answer "No tail holes?"
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    so many great ones! Well played everyone  B) keep em cuuumin
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    "Crowded elevators smell different to midgets"
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    Welphgryn said:
    I have a best man speech that I heard at a wedding once. He started his speech with, "I've never given a best man speech before, so I asked grandpa for advice. Grandpa told me, 'your speech should be the same length of time, that the groom will make love to his bride.' With that, I hope everyone has a great evening. Good night." 

    Then he walked off the stage and everyone erupted in laughter. He came back up afterwards to finish the speech though, but still, I thought it was hilarious.
    I have used almost exactly the same line in the speech I gave as best man a few years back :D
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    An old man told me this one. 

    "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at boxing"
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    Jack Handey quotes are my favorites.
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it." -- Jack Handey
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited June 2017
    Well, I am actually collecting quotes.

    A few of my favorites are:

    "If someone doesnt realize with a certain age, that he is mostly surrounded by idiots, he doesnt realize it because of a certain reason"

    "You always forget, that under your skin is only meat, fat and bones. I am also just a piece of meat. A piece of meat that thinks too much. It should stop thinking, the piece of meat."

    A quote that actually fits surprisingly well to the last discussion I participated in:

    "Someone who thinks, he can have everything for money, comes easily under suspicion, that he is ready to do anything for money"

    "Nothing in the world is distributed as fairly as the human intellect, because everyone believes to have enough"

    Maybe I will later add some more.

    Hope you enjoyed some!
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    I was playing CounterStrike many years agao on a dutch server, owned by some dutch highschool students. They was tempering with a automated botprogram that was chatting with the players. The more peopel talked to it, the better its conversations became. And after a while new players didnt had a clue they where talking to a bot wich was quite hilarious.

    But this "Mark", once said in his early days before he started to make sense, something that I never forget:
    "Its important to put the piano in the radience of the beer"

    Wich when you start to think about it, is quite true :)
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited June 2017

    “Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. Space is what prevents everything from happening to me.”
    Attributed to John Archibald Wheeler. Or Ray Cummings. Or possibly to graffiti in the men’s room at the Pecan Street Cafe in Austin, Texas.

  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    In ESO

                
    "He hears voices in his head, but don't worry, they're good people."

    The Divines gave you a nose for a reason. So you can keep your mouth shut and still keep breathing.


    One of my all time favorites, 
    Said  a guard
    “I bet if you spoke your mind you’d be speechless.”  
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    @CylverRayne that reminds me of another one.

    "If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong."

    I do agree with you by the way.
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    One of my favorites from W. Churchill:

    "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
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