Jokes to while we wait....

ArchivedUser

I thought we may want a post about (good) jokes to help with the wait.
I will make a start, feel free to contribute

Question: What do politicians and diapers have in common? 
-
Answer: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

ArchivedUser

Well you said "good" jokes but I'm posting this anyway.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his belt. The bartender goes "Hey, why do you have that giant thing for a belt buckle?"

The pirate says "Arrr, I dunno , but it drives me nuts."

ArchivedUser

One sunny Monday afternoon, a blonde girl comes running out of primary school class, towards the waiting arms of her mother. 
The girls seems very excited, mummy! Mummy! We learned about the Alphabet in school today. I was able the recite it from A to Z whilst the others in my class only got half way! Is that because I'm blonde, mum?

The mother looks at her daughter, smiles, and says. "Yes, dearest, that's because you're blonde."

The next day, the same blonde girl comes storming out of school again, equally excited to run over and hug her mum. 

"Mummy, mummy! I We learned counting today! I was able to get all the way up to twenty, yet those on my class only came to ten! Is that because I'm blonde? "

The mum, once again smiles at her daughter. "Yes, sweety, that's because you're blonde."

That Friday, the girl comes running out of school, still wearing her PE outfit. She once again looks extremely excited.

Mummy! Mummy! During PE, I discovered that I have these, and she lifts her shirt, and shows her D cups. Whilst the other girls in my class are still flat! Is that because I'm blonde?"

The mum, once again looks down at her beloved daughter. "No, sweetheart, that's because you're twenty-one"

ArchivedUser

 - Knock Knock

+Who's There?

- Not The Alpha Key

ArchivedUser

Why is release in 2019?
- Because Intrepid wants to enjoy the game for themselves.


Bad joke, I know...

ArchivedUser

A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books. The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says "the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"

ArchivedUser

An orc is with his sheep dog in an open pasture. The orc says to the dog
"Okay, Bram, get them together." The dog herds the sheep into a group. The orc asks "How many are there?" Bram the dog says "Forty." The orc says "Really? I only count 36." The dog says "I know I rounded them up."

ArchivedUser

..sorry. 

ArchivedUser

I cant find that meme about Vsauce, its a anime and he opens the door and vsauce is there like (he vsauce here) thats the most funny one ive seen. It was in a twincoconuts try not to laugh. But cant find it anymore.

ArchivedUser

My life.

ArchivedUser

What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?

.....wait for it....

Carlos... Car..los. Eh, eh!

ArchivedUser

We need comedians in the middle of a combat arena and give the spectators a thumb down option
...no pressure....

ArchivedUser

An elf and an orc walk into a bar...

The dwarf walks under it and laughs. 

ArchivedUser