Hey guys I just made my first ever video ever, and it's about AoC :)

Tausomaki

LOVE THE GAME !

I would appreciate if you would check it out and let me know how bad it is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhQrPTiOwaU

maouw

Hey your video is actually pretty entertaining, nice job!

Here's a bit of feedback:

• The thumbnail doesn't work for me, it's doing the GenZ chaotic humour thing which matches the meme cuts in the video (which I enjoyed a lot huehuehue), but sits weird with the informative delivery of your narration. Maybe if you put one element horizontally, so that the thumbnail hints that this video is also serious but full of memes (is that "New Game" in comic sans? oh dear hahaha.) - I dunno if you had a few thumbnail concepts, but it's probably a good idea to have a bunch of them, and then ask your friends which one is most clickable. Also, to make the thumbnail more click-baity (but not actually scambait) don't put "New Game" and "Ashes of Creation" into the one thumbnail because it gives away the answer too early. You want your viewers to go into your video to get the answer. You could instead have "New Game" and "Better than New World?" or something that makes people think "?? I need to see this." So yeah, if you can somehow make the thumbnail a mixture of serious and chaos, it would suit your videos better.
• at 3:36 your introduction of the game title needs to linger more. You faded the screen and music too fast, let the animation hit its peak "flash" point, maybe even show a couple split second cuts of in-game action. This is where you want to be be super hype and get the SHEEEEEESH going (like your choice of music - nice one), but the quick fade kills the hype as if your mum just walked in and turned down the speaker coz it was too loud. You could even try distort the music for the overhype factor - like some memes do (maybe too ironic?). If you're using the fade to mark the end of one section, you need to find something else to fade on (or fade after the logo does the bright flash).
• 5:21 after the "butt" you have an oportunity to use a question instead of the statement, "PvE players don't be afraid..." - questions are so much stronger at keeping the viewer interested in your content, so you can instead have "butt... what if you want to live peacefully in nature?". Always keep an eye out for when you can use a question instead of a statement.
• 5:49 - when you start listing the number of features, the visuals get really dry. Since Ashes doesn't have icons for artisan systems or religions yet, you can make your own, and that would really help when you say "three artisan classes..." and then have 3 icons, not just text. 6:09 is quite annoying to read because the layout isn't what I'm used to.
• I forgot to critique for about half the video coz Steven was talking HAHAHA
• 24:09 - this section feels weird because the topic before and after have the same energy, but this part is moody and disconnected from the other two. Even though the last word you said was "under-realm" it wasn't obvious that you were going to talk about it more, so you need to signal that more strongly (audio effect on "under-realm" or just say it again, "speaking of the under-realm...")
• 24:56 - You faded in the narrative voice here, I don't like it because it makes me feel like I missed the first few words of what you said - like I'm coming in halfway through a conversation. Try to keep the narration stable and always present. I smiled when you said "intesiffies" and your imperfect recovery was funny - good touch!
• 25:28 - You need to finish on a bang. This is REALLY important because the last moments of your video will be the first thing that a viewer remembers when if they see another of your videos pop up. So you want to finish strong - it'll help people to want to click on your videos next time. One thing you could have done here is a quick recap and rehype of the game and then mic-drop. (The meme ending at 27:13 was actually really good for that!)

WOW!
For a first video this is actually really good. Definitely some rough edges but kudos, my man. I can totally see that your own style is developing, which means you have potential to grow your own space on youtube without being stuck in someone else's shadow.

This video is a bit too long. Especially if you're going for chaotic humor - I'd suggest that next time, you should break this up into subtopics and release them as separate videos.

AND DON'T BE AFRAID OF YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR. It's great.

Erdun

Good video.

Tausomaki

Damn awesome feedback and ideas thank you. Yeah def my voice recording needs some improving xD
I hate my voice cuz my english is not my native language so when I hear it I cringe.
I will admit that I made the thumbnail on a fly... soooo I kinda don't know what good thumbnail looks like.
I hate clickbaits in tittle and thumbnails on YT which lies about content in a video... I Hope I will never do that consciously
I will take all tips to heart !

McMackMuck

Very good video. A lot of effort went into selecting appropriate supporting video sequences and graphics. I was highly entertained.

03:41
I was a little confused by the "non forced faction MMO RPG". What are the factions? There are religions, social groups, guilds and grouping by shared node survival interests. Are you counting these as factions?
The video does go on to explain a little, but as a section heading calling them "factions" felt misleading.


You have no reason to worry about your English - I understood completely and your natural enthusiasm for what is shaping up to be a great game was fantastic to listen to.

I remember the actor Jeremy Irons recounting a time (in his 30's?) when John Hurt advised him to tell younger actors to listen to playbacks of their voice as a way of sabotaging their career prospects and getting more work for themselves. Listening to playbacks of your own voice is a common way to damage your confidence. Many of us think we sound like (a bass/baritone) Barry White but in reality we sound more like Kermit the frog!

Tausomaki

Thanks ! I was just having fun editing some clips and put them togheter xD
I really don't wanna sounds official and sluggish.

"I was a little confused by the "non forced faction MMO RPG". What are the factions?"
Yeah I am sorry I should have explain that a lil bit better...
I wanted to introduce node civilizations as factions which you may or may not to join

my apologize

TrickrTreat

Thank you for sharing your thoughts ! Nice job !

mfckingjoker

nice video with nice humour, i rly like it. Also it seems u put a lot of effort in editing which is always nice to see. Keep it up man.