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Phase I of Alpha Two testing will occur on weekends. Each weekend is scheduled to start on Fridays at 10 AM PT and end on Sundays at 10 PM PT. Find out more here.
Check out Alpha Two Announcements here to see the latest Alpha Two news and update notes.
Our quickest Alpha Two updates are in Discord. Testers with Alpha Two access can chat in Alpha Two channels by connecting your Discord and Intrepid accounts here.
Phase I of Alpha Two testing will occur on weekends. Each weekend is scheduled to start on Fridays at 10 AM PT and end on Sundays at 10 PM PT. Find out more here.
Check out Alpha Two Announcements here to see the latest Alpha Two news and update notes.
Our quickest Alpha Two updates are in Discord. Testers with Alpha Two access can chat in Alpha Two channels by connecting your Discord and Intrepid accounts here.
"ARMAGGEDON": the Story of the Toughest Female Dwarf in Verra History
Zogzor
Member, Alpha Two
This is my story for my Ashes of Creation character.
"Armaggedon" is the toughest female dwarf in Verra's history. She doesn't care about what happens in existence, because she doesn't live there.
Armaggedon's most hated thing are "tallies"--or anybody who's taller than she is. On her left butt cheek, she's got a tattoo that says "KILL ALL", and on her right butt cheek, she's got a tattoo that says "TALLIES".
One day Armaggedon was hunting. She shot a beast with a bow and arrow. She takes the meat and hangs it on sticks to be smoked above a fire.
She tells Butt to wake her up in case anyone comes snooping around for food, then Armaggedon falls asleep.
FART. Armaggedon wakes up in a fury and looks around, but no ones there. She slaps Butt for misleading her, then goes to sleep.
FART. Armaggedon wakes up again, but there's nothing there, so she goes back to sleep.
Coyote Whose Nose is Long sneaks in and steals all the meat, then hurries out of there. Armaggedon sleeps peacefully. Armaggedon wakes up, and becomes enraged at Butt.
"I'm going to punish you now!" Cries Armaggedon. She blows the fire into a roaring blaze, then puts Butt onto the fire.
"AAARRGG" Screams Butt in pain.
"How do you like that?" Armaggedon says in the most biting fashion, while she wiggles Butt into the fire.
Armaggedon goes to look for the thief who stole her meat, as she's walking, the skin of her butt cheeks falls off and onto the ground.
She walks in a circle then sees her own footprints. "Somebody's following me", Armaggedon whispers to herself.
She steps further, looks on the ground, then says to herself: "It's two big, thin slices of beef jerky!" She says to herself with joy. The left slice of beef jerky says "KILL ALL" on it, and the right slice of beef jerky says "TALLIES" on it. She eats the jerky with relish.
Crow Who Sits in Trees calls out, saying, "Armaggedon ate her own butt".
"No. I didn't", says Armaggedon.
Then Armaggedon marched to the Tower of Carphin. She slid on hurt butt down a hill, and you can still see the marks she left to this very day. Every time a glorious adventurer goes to enter Carphin, they see the marks left by Armaggedon's slide on the nearby hill, and the adventurer says: "That was one bad*ss dwarf."
THE END.
"Armaggedon" is the toughest female dwarf in Verra's history. She doesn't care about what happens in existence, because she doesn't live there.
Armaggedon's most hated thing are "tallies"--or anybody who's taller than she is. On her left butt cheek, she's got a tattoo that says "KILL ALL", and on her right butt cheek, she's got a tattoo that says "TALLIES".
One day Armaggedon was hunting. She shot a beast with a bow and arrow. She takes the meat and hangs it on sticks to be smoked above a fire.
She tells Butt to wake her up in case anyone comes snooping around for food, then Armaggedon falls asleep.
FART. Armaggedon wakes up in a fury and looks around, but no ones there. She slaps Butt for misleading her, then goes to sleep.
FART. Armaggedon wakes up again, but there's nothing there, so she goes back to sleep.
Coyote Whose Nose is Long sneaks in and steals all the meat, then hurries out of there. Armaggedon sleeps peacefully. Armaggedon wakes up, and becomes enraged at Butt.
"I'm going to punish you now!" Cries Armaggedon. She blows the fire into a roaring blaze, then puts Butt onto the fire.
"AAARRGG" Screams Butt in pain.
"How do you like that?" Armaggedon says in the most biting fashion, while she wiggles Butt into the fire.
Armaggedon goes to look for the thief who stole her meat, as she's walking, the skin of her butt cheeks falls off and onto the ground.
She walks in a circle then sees her own footprints. "Somebody's following me", Armaggedon whispers to herself.
She steps further, looks on the ground, then says to herself: "It's two big, thin slices of beef jerky!" She says to herself with joy. The left slice of beef jerky says "KILL ALL" on it, and the right slice of beef jerky says "TALLIES" on it. She eats the jerky with relish.
Crow Who Sits in Trees calls out, saying, "Armaggedon ate her own butt".
"No. I didn't", says Armaggedon.
Then Armaggedon marched to the Tower of Carphin. She slid on hurt butt down a hill, and you can still see the marks she left to this very day. Every time a glorious adventurer goes to enter Carphin, they see the marks left by Armaggedon's slide on the nearby hill, and the adventurer says: "That was one bad*ss dwarf."
THE END.
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