Hat's off to all gentlemen players!

Do you have a memorial  encounter playing video games?

 Back in 2003 when PlanetSide was released it was almost unheard of gals playing FPS type games.    Below was the type of reaction from guys in my outfit when they heard my voice for the first time.    Females didn't want to be harassed by little boys so they didn't admit to their gender.   It was in an amazing all male outfit who treated me like a lady and wouldn't put up with outsiders who didn't.     Hat's off to all gentlemen players!

       

                   
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Comments

  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited July 2017
    Wait, you're a girl? 

    I only see people in two categories. 

    Karthos and Not Karthos
  • The gaming community has came such a long way in accepting female players.
    Irl I don't usually talk about my gaming passion until recently - and I was chatting to a colleague and he was like - I didn't know you liked all that stuff cos you look like a normal girl xD and I'm like okaaaaaaaaaaaay xD

    My first true mmo experience I played a male character and I confused a lot of people because I'm female but made some amazing friends that I'm still friendly with today :3

    I've also had really bad experiences in which some players have sent extremely inappropriate images of themselves to me and have said stuff that send shivers down my spine, but - thanks to all the gentlemen out there that see me for being a person that loves games and nothing more :)
  • I always wonder what we're supposed to look like. I mean, for real; I'm an avid reader. I cook. I keep my house. I go out occasionally, and I game. It's all part & parcel of who and what I am ... should I be dirty and fat and slovenly in order for people to "recognize" that I'm a gamer? And then, I have to ask -- who cares? Hobbies are hobbies, and I don't know you can really ever just look at someone and see what's what.

    On the OP, I really appreciate this. I remember, when I first wandered in to the world of gaming, getting taken under the wing of one particular player. He didn't care that I was male or female, he only cared that I wanted to learn to play my class better. He worked with me, lots, and when I dove into the world of healing, he worked with me more.

    He was in his teens when he did this, and he's still one of the greatest people I know. He's kinda an adopted son to me, but from a very early age, he's had more wisdom and compassion than so many people I've met. Thanks, @CylverRayne, for letting me remember this important young man in this way!
  • Karthos said:
    Wait, you're a girl? 

    I only see people in two categories. 

    Karthos and Not Karthos
    Just trying to figure out what a Karthos is.  Is it a quest?  Is it epic loot?  
  • As a gentleman, I feel it should be mentioned that ladies should be respected outside of gaming, as well. Not that you were insinuating otherwise, of course. 
  • As a gentleman, I feel it should be mentioned that ladies should be respected outside of gaming, as well. Not that you were insinuating otherwise, of course. 
    Ladies and men should be respected. People should be respected regardless of gender - we are all special and awesome :3 Humans are great xD
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited July 2017
    As a gentleman, I feel it should be mentioned that ladies should be respected outside of gaming, as well. Not that you were insinuating otherwise, of course. 
    I've always told the young ones who question why boys get rude in games or rl, "Act like a lady and you'll be treated like a lady."  

    CptBrownBeard  You sound like a true gentleman!
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited July 2017
    As a gentleman, I feel it should be mentioned that ladies should be respected outside of gaming, as well. Not that you were insinuating otherwise, of course. 
    I've always told the young ones who question why boys get rude in games or rl, "Act like a lady and you'll be treated like a lady."  

    This is so true. I've found most people tend to treat you in accordance to how you act and how you treat others as well as what respect you demand.

    It's also not worth your time to sink to another's level whose not following this same guideline. And never be afraid to speak up when you feel something needs to be said.

    Ok, it's impossible for me to be serious for this long. Back to hijinks.

    PS- I'm Epic Loots
  • As a scoundrel, I see no difference whether a man or a woman is playing. When we were kids and played with each other, although you couldn't do everything with everyone, who would mind if you're a girl, a woman, a boy, a man, a chimpanzee, or a cat? No one. Just faking play.
    Even a woman can play from the kitchen since wifi exists
  • As a gentleman, I feel it should be mentioned that ladies should be respected outside of gaming, as well. Not that you were insinuating otherwise, of course. 
    I've always told the young ones who question why boys get rude in games or rl, "Act like a lady and you'll be treated like a lady."  

    CptBrownBeard  You sound like a true gentleman!
    When people tell me that Chivalry is dead, I look em dead in the eyes and say: "Not until I am." :sunglasses:
  • I agree, we should treat women with respect, but it should not end there. We should treat everyone with respect, until they don't deserve it.
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited July 2017
    I don't think girls/women deserve any special preferential treatment over anyone else. Everyone should be judged purely on their actions and attitude.  But when you make it point to specifically identify your gender and other beliefs, then you are specifically part of the problem in creating those differences to begin with.   None of us here needed to know if you were or were not a girl, and you don't deserve to be applauded for views on guys just because of that.

    Are there discrepancies in gender statistics for some things, sure, but don't be part of the barrier to entry for others who are the same gender by screaming look at me.  No validation from me, sorry.  
  • Isende said:
    I always wonder what we're supposed to look like. I mean, for real; I'm an avid reader. I cook. I keep my house. I go out occasionally, and I game. It's all part & parcel of who and what I am ... should I be dirty and fat and slovenly in order for people to "recognize" that I'm a gamer? 
    It all comes down to the back sweat meter for you since you (probably) can't have a neck beard.
  • I'm not a gentlemen. I'm nice, but not polite.
    I treat people like people. I strive to not treat females and males equally.

    People are so incredulous because back in the day, the vast majority of female characters in MMORPGs were other dudes.

    Which didn't stop some male players from treating female avatars as if they were helpless, mentally handicapped players.

    I was shocked the first time I encountered boys who wanted to shower my female avatar with fee stuff and explain how the game worked - and the couple of boys who demanded I cyber with them.

    In my experience, some players are extremely rude, some players are extremely polite and the vast majority of players are somewhere in the middle.
    Most players have been friendly.

     <3  <3  <3
  • Warkov said:
    I don't think girls/women deserve any special preferential treatment over anyone else. Everyone should be judged purely on their actions and attitude.  But when you make it point to specifically identify your gender and other beliefs, then you are specifically part of the problem in creating those differences to begin with.   None of us here needed to know if you were or were not a girl, and you don't deserve to be applauded for views on guys just because of that.

    Are there discrepancies in gender statistics for some things, sure, but don't be part of the barrier to entry for others who are the same gender by screaming look at me.  No validation from me, sorry.  
     I was not looking for validation from anyone.  The purpose of my post was to bring attention to a wonderful group of guys who accepted me as I accepted them.   It's nice to give credit where credit is due.  

     If nothing else my post shows equality in how people,  male or female  are  perceived according to their actions and words. That goes for you also.

  • Warkov said:
    I don't think girls/women deserve any special preferential treatment over anyone else. Everyone should be judged purely on their actions and attitude.  But when you make it point to specifically identify your gender and other beliefs, then you are specifically part of the problem in creating those differences to begin with.   None of us here needed to know if you were or were not a girl, and you don't deserve to be applauded for views on guys just because of that.

    Are there discrepancies in gender statistics for some things, sure, but don't be part of the barrier to entry for others who are the same gender by screaming look at me.  No validation from me, sorry.  
     I was not looking for validation from anyone.  The purpose of my post was to bring attention to a wonderful group of guys who accepted me as I accepted them.   It's nice to give credit where credit is due.  

     If nothing else my post shows equality in how people,  male or female  are  perceived according to their actions and words. That goes for you also.

    Mic drop...
  • I don't know if it's because I'm a little younger or something, but I have never really thought that being a female in games is something special. I usually dress my character very feminine with heels and dresses if I can and when people hear my voice, they are not at all surprised that I am, indeed, female.

    I think these days females in games are normal and accepted and I do not really see the point in particularly thanking males for being accepting. I would much rather thank all the people here in general for being awesome and accepting, really enjoying the community feeling here :)
  • Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends!

    https://youtu.be/5DmYLrxR0Y8



  • Nelirya said:
    I don't know if it's because I'm a little younger or something, but I have never really thought that being a female in games is something special.
    That is exactly the reason.  Years ago, female gamers were significantly less common than today.
  • I remember playing mmos in the early 2000s when girls weren't as prevalent as they are now. Most of the guys that would join a group with the girl(s) were very gentlemanly but it only takes one person making rude comments to really ruin the experience for both the girl(s) and the rest of the group. I remember feeling really imbarased but as time went on I noticed that more and more girls were playing online games and gaining more respect in the gaming community. I am really glad to hear that girl gamers are noticing the same thing. I guess after years of being kicked out of groups, those rude jerk gamers are finally getting the hint.
  • I know a lot of people still spaz when they find out my daughter is a girl when playing online mmos.  Especially after they get to know her after she's kicked their ass in PVP, or out healed every other healer in the raid.
  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited July 2017
    I don't treat female gamers like ladies, I treat them like gamers.

    If they want me to treat them like a lady then the only thing I'll treat them to is by block list. Leave that stuff for your significant other and just kill that dragon before it breathes bad dragon fire.


    If guys are treating you differently (cleaning up their language, avoiding certain topics or jokes, being overly nice or understanding) because you're a female then they still consider you an outsider. The number of female gamers I've seen that are okay with normal guy talk is not zero, but it's also low enough that it's safer to treat female gamers as outsiders still. The difference between the past and now is that instead being 'circus freak' outsiders they're 'I hope I don't say anything they don't like and get reported/banned' outsiders.
  • I treat everyone the same, like dirt. lol
    I need a definition of normal guy talk.  I treat people how I want to be treated.  The idea that any large group of gamers will react the same to a set of circumstances is preposterous.  I try to ensure that no one is made to feel uncomfortable, whether because of age, background or anything else.  If I do not know the other gamers in a group then I am probably using manners that I would use in an impersonal public setting.  Once I get to know individuals I may adjust my behaviour but ensuring that I do not allow anyone to feel uncomfortable intentionally.  I make a base assumption that everyone has a significant other because it just makes socializing easier and to be honest it is none of my business.  Regardless of the setting this just makes the groups I am in more efficient in any circumstances.
  • In '99/2000 when I played EQ I took advantage of the attitude toward women.  I made a female character (I'm a guy in RL) and claimed to be a young teenaged girl new to gaming and my big brother said girls can't play and maybe he's right because I can't figure anything out...

    Within minutes someone would come by and show me how to play and inevitably give me a ton of money and/or some valuable gear.  I'd then drop that off, log onto my main, and pick it up.  (There was nothing as sophisticated as mailing things to alts or shared bank space back then.)  I pulled this scam numerous times.

    I'm not proud of those acts.  I took advantage of (presumably) well-meaning players and it wasn't clever, just cruel and greedy.  I wouldn't do anything like that these days.  But I think it shows how attitudes were back then (if they're different now).  I tried the same tactic with a male character not pretending to be a girl and it didn't have the same result.
  • I knew several RL females that played the original EQ and i have known several over the years in various games but they were always far outnumbered in the early years and they type of games also made a difference. I treat everyone on first ingame meet as a non-gender person.. doesnt matter in game until you build a friendship and trust then it mostly only matters because knowing each other is part of friendship. When i see a random female toon looking for things from other people I just assume its a guy playing a female. I always help everyone that looks like they actually need help but i wont give then anything that matters until i know them a little better. And thats how I am in RL also. As far as people commenting on others changing what they say in chat based on gender.. well.. I show respect for anyone that is respectful but doesnt appreciate certain types of talk regardless of gender as long as its reasonable. If i needed to be able to talk freely or rudely then i would group with like minded people so its a non issue people. Would i take up for a known female in chat? Yes i would, mostly because i will take up for anyone that is being treated unfairly.. but lets not forget some people will intentionally be asshats to a known female more than a male also... trolls are trolls. Treat people as how you would like to be treated if you were in the same position or same gender. The genders are wired differently so they have different expectations just like any group of people. No one should have to hide what or who they are and people should act accordingly. If you dont agree.. well.. leave them alone and hang with people that think like you. Its the right way to be.

    My 2 cents. To each there own though.. I try not to judge people.
  • Marenor said:
    I treat everyone the same, like dirt. lol
    I need a definition of normal guy talk.  I treat people how I want to be treated.  The idea that any large group of gamers will react the same to a set of circumstances is preposterous.  I try to ensure that no one is made to feel uncomfortable, whether because of age, background or anything else.  If I do not know the other gamers in a group then I am probably using manners that I would use in an impersonal public setting.  Once I get to know individuals I may adjust my behaviour but ensuring that I do not allow anyone to feel uncomfortable intentionally.  I make a base assumption that everyone has a significant other because it just makes socializing easier and to be honest it is none of my business.  Regardless of the setting this just makes the groups I am in more efficient in any circumstances.
    I assume you're referencing me.

    'Normal guy talk' does not meet a strictly defined set of criteria. It's only usage is to denote the change in language that any astute observer can see in a group when a female enters the room that does not ever occur when a male enters the room. Whether that's not talking about certain subjects, cleaning up the language, or just being uncharacteristically (compared to their 'normal guy talk' persona) nice/chivalrous.
  • Thread says gentlemen so I'm outa here ;)
  • I'm a little surprised that girls wasn't playing games sooner. Not only does it get my mind off of things , but you also meet new people.

    Honestly, never given much thought on it - never needed to. 
    If the ladies want to play ... Why nag about it  ? ;)

    And honestly surprised of the " Tales " I'm reading

    ( looking at you @Diura & @Isende )


  • ArchivedUserArchivedUser Guest
    edited July 2017
    Warkov said:
    I don't think girls/women deserve any special preferential treatment over anyone else. Everyone should be judged purely on their actions and attitude.  But when you make it point to specifically identify your gender and other beliefs, then you are specifically part of the problem in creating those differences to begin with.   None of us here needed to know if you were or were not a girl, and you don't deserve to be applauded for views on guys just because of that.

    Are there discrepancies in gender statistics for some things, sure, but don't be part of the barrier to entry for others who are the same gender by screaming look at me.  No validation from me, sorry.  
     I was not looking for validation from anyone.  The purpose of my post was to bring attention to a wonderful group of guys who accepted me as I accepted them.   It's nice to give credit where credit is due.  

     If nothing else my post shows equality in how people,  male or female  are  perceived according to their actions and words. That goes for you also.

    When have you ever read a post from a guy talking about how nice the other guy gamers were to him, and how accepting of him and gentlemen like they were?  You are part of the problem of gender differentiation.  You should worry more about true assimilation into the group for real equality, rather than making post trying to bring attention to your gender and how people are treating you whatever way because of it.

     I'm not being mean, but I'm not going to white-night cuck like other mic droppers here.  You want equality, then you should be appreciative that I'm being truthful with you.  So let's be honest here, your post was not about praising people on their merits, it was simply about you looking for validation and pats on the back for finding a group of guys that treats you very gentlemanly.  Here is hint, real friends aren't always gentlemen or pretend to be, and they certainly don't need to post about it.  
  • Marenor said:
    I treat everyone the same, like dirt. lol
    I need a definition of normal guy talk.  I treat people how I want to be treated.  The idea that any large group of gamers will react the same to a set of circumstances is preposterous.  I try to ensure that no one is made to feel uncomfortable, whether because of age, background or anything else.  If I do not know the other gamers in a group then I am probably using manners that I would use in an impersonal public setting.  Once I get to know individuals I may adjust my behaviour but ensuring that I do not allow anyone to feel uncomfortable intentionally.  I make a base assumption that everyone has a significant other because it just makes socializing easier and to be honest it is none of my business.  Regardless of the setting this just makes the groups I am in more efficient in any circumstances.
    I assume you're referencing me.

    'Normal guy talk' does not meet a strictly defined set of criteria. It's only usage is to denote the change in language that any astute observer can see in a group when a female enters the room that does not ever occur when a male enters the room. Whether that's not talking about certain subjects, cleaning up the language, or just being uncharacteristically (compared to their 'normal guy talk' persona) nice/chivalrous.

    Thank you for the definition.  I understand that from both directions.  I was a member of a few teams where the talk would change dramatically when a coach would walk into the room.  I also managed people and both loved and hated the fact that the conversation changed when I entered the room.  In both circumstances I just accepted the fact that it was for efficiency.  We did not want to waste our coaches time trying to talk over us and hopefully it was the same feeling when I walked into a room with the groups that I managed.

    I know those examples are not similar contexts to gaming, well maybe the teams.  But I tend to make allowances for the individual.  I will use myself as an example.  I am an extreme introvert.  I will stay silent in voice for long periods of time.  It is not uncommon for people to forget I am there and then be shocked when I join a conversation.  That has been mistaken by others as being upset by the conversation.  No, I just live by a rule, if I have nothing useful to say, I say nothing.  Luckily, over time that was usually understood over time.  All I know is that I was grateful for the space to be myself and I try to grant that to everyone.
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